Saturday, November 27, 2010

To start things off

The observant passenger. It took me weeks to think of the appropriate name for this blog. Even though I hope no one ever reads it I felt it needed the perfect name. One that fit me, the stage of life I am currently in but also one that would apply for as long as I continue to keep this blog up. I have been pondering this idea of myself as a passenger since the middle of this month when I read a daily devotional I receive. This thought intrigues me and scares me. As much as I'd like to fight it, I am the passenger and God is my driver. I am completely in for this "ride" of life he has in store for me. No amount of me planning and researching can over-power His directions for my life. I am learning daily that I can't fight that. I have spent the past months trying so hard to fight it but it just does no good at all. I must sit back and read the map (or Bible in this case) and watch what the Lord is doing for me out the window.

This semester has been filled with nothing going according to my plan. If you had asked me a year ago what I would be doing today it would have been so very different than what I am actually doing. It is such a hard thing to express. I have never been so broken in my life. Yet in that I have also been built up to the strongest I have ever been. It is only through some of the most painful few months of my life that I have been brought so close to Christ. I have made so many bad choices but in them I have learned. I have made so many incredible friendships and strengthened so many existing ones. And those have gotten me through it all. It has been a very inward struggle. No one knows the depth of the hurt and confusion and I plan to keep it that way. It is in the past now and I must move on. I know God has incredible things in store for me in the future now I must continue to be the patient, observant passenger He calls me to be.

Romans 15:4For whatever things were written before were written for our learning,
that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.